On sweat pants

At an only-semi-alcoholic-margarita party on Friday afternoon, a conversation began about how my mom peers feel like they've completely lost their identities since they quit their jobs to pursue full time parental status.  They all complained over the general assumption that they exist solely to wipe snotty noses and iron their husbands shirts.  I mostly kept quiet (shocking, I know) since I've held this status for barely two months and I happen to absofruckinglutely LOVE staying home and not working.  I've been there, done that and know damn good and well EXACTLY what I'm missing out on.  (Here's a hint: not much.) (Here's another hint: expect to see that "been there, done that" sentence about eleventy thousand more times on this website).

[an aside:  As I'm typing this, Alex is riding his tricycle around the house buck naked and saying "skew me" to the toys he kicks out of his way.]

I've recently discovered that I am, oddly enough given my self-perceived advanced old age, the youngest member of said mommies group, most of my peers being well educated women who held high-status jobs before having children, so that may explain the context of the discussion.  But, naturally, I still have reason to disagree.  I guess I've never felt defined by my career or by my paycheck or by my job title.  I have always been and will likely continue to be insufferably defined by my personality.  No matter what I'm doing - telling gazillionaires how to invest their cash, changing a crappy diaper or making hot sweet love to my husband - I'm AMANDA.  I'm opinionated, head-strong, mind-blowingly chatty and enthusiastic to an obnoxious degree.  And fortunately, I can be all these things and more as a stay-at-home mom.  I'm making no sacrifices.  In fact, I'm having a fricking ball over here.

But I digress.  I really mean to be talking about something far more important than my annoying personality. I want to talk about the sweat pants.  Or what my favorite TV personality, the lovely Stacy London, calls "The Pajamafication of America".  These women?  These highly educated, formerly high-powered career women?  They wear sweat pants IN PUBLIC.  All the time.

Remember that episode of Seinfeld? 

JERRY: (to George) Again with the sweat pants?

GEORGE: What? I'm comfortable.

JERRY: You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweat pants? You're telling the world: "I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable." (George is baffled)

One of these women on Friday quizzed me about the skirt I was wearing, quite appropriately I think, to the playgroup party. 

HER: "Why are you all dressed up, Amanda?" 
ME: "Why not?"
HER: "You mean you normally wear skirts?"
ME:  "I prefer skirts to shorts.  They're more flattering."
HER:  Baffled look. 

And forgive me my bluntness here, personality and all, but if you feel like you've lost your identity? Perhaps, just maybe, just a teeny weeny suggestion, IT COULD BE BECAUSE YOU'VE GIVEN UP ON IT.  At least that's the message you're sending out to the world with the sweat pants and the hair scrunchies and the velcro shoes and the no-makeup and the baggy t-shirts.  You're saying "I'm not important anymore.  I'm just some body's mother." 

Don't get me wrong.  I luuurve me some sweat pants.  In fact, I'm sitting here in front of the computer wearing sweat pants myself right this minute.  And a hoodie.  And a hideous PLAID hair scrunchy.  I'm a fashion NIGHTMARE.  But here's the catch:  I'd SHOOT MYSELF before I'd leave the house looking like this.  Even if I'm just going to hang out at my mom's house or make a trip to Target, I make an effort to look nice.  I pick out an actual outfit.  I try.  And it does WONDERS for my self image.  Don't they always say you should dress for the job you want?  Well the job I want is hot mama.  And I plan to keep dressing the part, thankyouverymuch.

[Edited to add:  Not ALL my mom peers wear sweat pants.  Plenty of them dress just fine.  In this particular case it was the SAME moms who were bitching about their lost identities who were sporting the mom jeans.]

Comments

[Elizabeth]

Amanda, I love wearing skirts too. You're right, they're more flattering than shorts, and I think they're way more comfortable too. You keep looking good, girl!

[bellabelly]

I wear skirts almost every day. Skirts, sundresses and flipflops.

But at home??? Drawstring pants!!! (too hot for sweats) Big t-shirts! No scrunchies (my hair is too short) but haphazardly placed barrettes, and sometimes even a bandanna!!

[Accidental Poet]

I always say - my worst day at home is better than my best day at the office.

Even the day when she threw up on me three times before Daddy left for work. All I did, for eighteen hours straight, was beg her to drink, hold her, and get puked on.

[Laura]

LOVE the Mom Jeans!! Hehehe! "She'll LOVE the nine-inch zipper!"

I've been trying really hard to make more of an effort to not look like total death when I leave the house. I've even started doing my nails again! (And I barely have time to wipe MY OWN ass, so that's saying something!)

[Amber Wyman]

I confess to wearing sweat pants in public. Bright pink ones, too. Not trying to stand out at all, am I? But you have a big, good point. I DO feel better about myself when I dress to go out, even if it is just to Target. I now feel guilty and apologetic when I go out in sweats. It's great that you take Stacey and Clinton into account (in fact, you've got me hooked) but remember, they're just two people.