It was even better than Christmas

'Twas the night after Blogher and all through the house
Not one dish was clean, not even a glass -
New plastic trucks strewn about willy nilly
My dirty-faced boy a half-naked hillbilly.

He jumped up and down shrieking "Mommy is Home!"
His Dad so glad to see me, it gave him the bone.
And soon with my boob out, the boy in my lap,
We all settled in for the saucy re-cap.

At the airport on Friday, I met Jen at last
And, for a change, my lad wasn't bare-assed.
While the boy napped, we lunched and we yakked
Mostly about the gastrointestinal tract.

And then to the hotel, whose beds are much famed,
But rest here, you turncoat, AND YOU WILL BE SHAMED
Later I dined with much anxious fear
And sat next to Heather, the poop pioneer.

With cameras lined up, we ate and we sat
Downing beer after beer, we laughed at that hat.
Surrounded by writers, such talent, such fame,
I couldn't stop grinning as I called them by name;

Now HEATHER! now EDEN! now JENB! And ALICE!
Who was that spaz stalking MELISSA?  Such malice!
Oh JENN! oh TRACY! oh MEGHAN! oh JENNY!
And MINDY! and MAGGIE! I'm forgetting too many.

The conference was fine, although not up my alley
Most of the talk was too "Silicon Valley"
To do lists and rankings and goals, blah blah blah -
I have more fun while discussing my bra.

I did love the mommy-bloggers (although many do not),
Turns out we are more than just poop, boobs and snot.
I blubbered when I spoke of my love for the title,
Because, like it or not, we mommies are vital.

But that got Melissa going, crying and crying,
I swear to god you'd have thought she was dying.
But then Alice spoke out - pissed off (but with tact)
And said "Writing about motherhood can be a radical act!"

Here here! We all hollered as we wiped away tears.
That is the phrase I'll keep with me for years.
After more hanky panky, I called it a night.
HAPPY BLOGGING TO ALL, IT WAS SUCH A DELIGHT!

Comments

[jenB]

this was FAN-freaking-tastic. awesome. excellent. superlative! GREAT!

i was lamenting to mark tonight we could not live closer. thank you so so so so much for your generosity and hospitality. even getting shamed by damned dirty hippied was nice.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Meghan]

Amanda,
It was great to meet you. I could tell I love your sense of humor after sitting next to you for oh, about 3 minutes. So glad to have met you and I will happily keep reading your stuff.
Now I have to work on getting you to swear......

[alice]

I love it! Except there was nothing about your hotness in there.

[sweetney]

i feel so smushy about this weekend its ridiculous. and here i thought i was such a hardass and everything.

[melts]

[Jenn]

Absolutely amazing wrap-up! You are too freaking cute. I just loved meeting you (Even if you are "of the foul-mouthed Mommy Blogger" sect.)

[supa]

po.et.try. wow.

[Jenny]

Perfect! That IS the best wrap up ever. Mwah!

[Rayne of Terror]

I'm so envious that you got to meet all the cool kids :)

[elizabeth]

Absolutely wonderful! It was so good to meet you even if I was a little tipsy at that point. i hope i didn't bore you too much.

[Donna]

Love it!

[Lissy]

I'm so envious too! I wish I could be a stalker just like you! It sounds like you girls had a blast and makes me PROUD to be a mommy blogger if I can possibly be in that company of women.

[Kelly AKA Fat Housewife]

That was totally cute!!

[mia]

My new short list :

- become a better blogger
- become a mom

I want to join your ranks, you guys are the bestest

[Kris]

Wow, Amanda, what a trip to remember! Love the poem, especially the section about mommy bloggers -- well said. You got to party Dooce? I'm so jealous but I'm not cool enough to hang with your crowd. ;)

[A N N A]

after reading this, i wish i had sought you out so that i could've basked in your presence while AT BlogHer. this post is genius. i'm still laughing.