When last I broached this topic, I was the willing victim of a horny husband. I had sore boobs. I was 99% sure I was pregnant. Yet, crazy as it may sound, I decided not to take a pregnancy test right away. I needed a few days to mull it over. To work out my feelings on the subject and give myself time to settle in to the idea of a completely different life than the one I was expecting. My life plan at that point was: lose weight, buy a condo, THEN make a baby. I had only been at my job for a few months! This was bass-ackwards and I had to work my head around it. Not knowing for sure gave me the time I needed. After a day or two of thinking about it, I was more excited than ever.
Also? I didn't tell Dave. And before you go thinking no good, horrible, bad things about me, there was a VERY good reason: I wanted to surprise him. For weeks, we'd been planning a getaway to Reno for our fifth wedding anniversary and it was coming up the following weekend. I thought about it and decided I would wait until the morning of our anniversary to take the pregnancy test and then I would tell him that night during our fancy anniversary dinner. It was like the universe had conspired with my uterus to make for the most perfect timing possible. (You know, aside from all that pesky you're-supposed-to-be-losing-weight stuff). Since we hadn't been trying to get pregnant, the idea that I was with child had never EVER entered his head.
So I walked around for almost a week with the biggest most awesome secret in the world. And I didn't tell a single, solitary soul. It was the longest week of my life and I was sure the shit-eating grin I wore all the time was going to give me away, but it didn't. Eventually, the suspense was just too much for me and when my period was five days overdue, I took a pregnancy test while Dave was at work. It was two days before we were supposed to leave on our mini-vacation. Within about three seconds of peeing on the stick, a bright pink line appeared, which, after taking roughly 1,000 of these tests before all with negative results, I assumed was the control-test line. But when the second line appeared, I realized that the bright line was actually the DUDE YOU'RE SO KNOCKED UP RIGHT NOW line after all.
(Yes, I'm still saving the positive pregnancy tests for both my kids. What of it?!)
So there I was, all knocked up, only five months post-op from my gastric bypass surgery. And I was STOKED. Of course since I wasn't telling anybody yet, I couldn't call my doctor or figure out what I was supposed to do about food, but that would all come with time.
Our romantic weekend FINALLY arrived and Dave and I jetted off to the casino to waste money and celebrate five blissful(ish) years of marriage. I needed to pee a lot, but Dave didn't seem to notice. I came REALLY close to telling him on Friday night, our first night there, when we were out enjoying our first romantic dinner, but I saved it and I'm glad I did. We had a fun romp that night afterwards and I remember looking at him and thinking, this is the last time he'll ever get to boink me without knowing I'm somebody's mother. I knew his entire world was going to change in less than 24 hours.
The next night was our anniversary and we went out to the steak house restaurant at the Hilton. I had been busily preparing myself for over a week, so I was on pins and needles the entire time in anticipation of my big announcement. After we ordered, I gave Dave his anniversary card.
Which he opened and read and for which he was grateful. Inside that card, was another card. It had a bunch of babies on the front of it.
Inside, the card read, "Four out of five babies agree
It took him a few seconds, but then it finally registered and he looked up and said, "Wait! You're pregnant!" and I nodded and he was SO happy. He started gasping for air excitedly and stood up and walked around for a minute just to get used to the idea and then we spent the rest of our dinner talking about it and beginning to make plans. Later he told me that his initial reaction was to stand up and tell the entire restaurant that the champagne was on him! (I'm kinda glad he didn't do that, though, because I can't even imagine what it would've cost us!).
The rest of the weekend went by in a blur. I remember both of us feeling apprehensive about the medical aspects of what would come, but utterly and completely giddy about the rest of it. We were going to be parents! In hindsight, I feel like this was exactly how my life was meant to be. Dave was supposed to knock me up because if he hadn't, we wouldn't have Alex and what kind of a life would that be?
When we got back after our romantic weekend away, I called my doctor first thing Monday and that's when the fun began...