Mandajuice

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<-------------- So I've added my Twitter updates to the sidebar.  I've been reluctant to use Twitter for whatever reason (read: like I need another internet addiction!), but I  plan to give it a shot while we're in California this week and see how I do.  For those who don't know what Twitter is, it's like a mini-blog I can write from my cell phone, in which I can use only 140 characters per post.  Should be fun.

Vanity hotness inflation

You guys are so sweet about my hair and I would say something lame and self-deprecating, but the truth is that it's the best hair cut I've ever had and I love it.  I have NO regrets.  I already need a trim and I want to adjust it a bit (a few shorter layers in the back/on the sides, keeping it longer in the front for a more pronounced A-line).  It took me FOREVER to figure out how to style it correctly, but now that I've got it down (comb it straight while wet, add a front part, scrunch with Tigi Cat Walk Curls, air dry), it's honestly the best effort to results hair ratio I've ever had.  Even my WORST hair days are better than my ponytail days.

And Dave may not LOVE it, but "it's growing on him" and I'm still getting laid.

Speaking of, I bought some new jeans at the Gap yesterday that fit great and are about as smoking hot as I can get.  I tried them on for Dave and asked about my hotness and his somewhat-joking-but-really-maybe-not response was that I'm too old to be hot.  (!!!)  But then he said, "How about me?  What if I said,  Do these jeans make me look hot?" And, well, the man does have a point.  He did say I looked GREAT in the jeans and he always thinks I look sexy (seriously, the grosser I feel, the sexier he thinks I look).  I think hot is just an adjective that's difficult to objectively use for anyone with as many stretch marks as me.

Has anyone else noticed MAJOR vanity size inflation at the Gap?  I walked in there yesterday in an old Gap size 14 skirt that I inherited from sister.  It's probably already five years old.  It fits me, even if it is a bit snug.  I had used a big gift card (the last of my Club Mom points, sob) to buy myself some clearance stuff online and the size fourteens were all HUGE.  Seriously, I'm a size 14 THROUGH and THROUGH and I walked out of there yesterday with two pairs of size 12 jeans and two MEDIUM shirts (and a hat!).  And my weight had not changed a pound, I checked.  Part of me feels like this is REALLY WRONG (and unhealthy!) and part of me was all, "Size 12!  How 'bout them apples!?"

I've been meaning to do one of those "letters to my body" like everyone else did, but I haven't gotten around to it yet.  Recently I've been inspired by Yvonne's keynote reading of hers and how much I just want to shake her and tell her she's beautiful EXACTLY HOW SHE IS.  Is it too late?  I kind of have a LOT to say on the topic given that my body is about as far from perfect as you can get (enough skin for a person twice my size!  Gravity!), and yet, unlike almost EVERY other woman I know, I have no body issues whatsoever. 

Les poissons! Les poissons! How I love les poissons!

On Thursday I took the last two Weeds DVD's Blockbuster had sent me back to the store and exchanged them for Disney movies:  Cinderella and The Little Mermaid.  I know I've talked up the idea of NOT bringing on Princess mania any earlier than is absolutely necessary, but Dude, seriously, a girl can only take so much Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. 

The funny thing is that Alex liked both movies even more than Genoa.  The Little Mermaid was a HUGE hit.  And I forgot how much I love that movie.  I was thirteen in 1989 when it was first released and by the time I was fifteen, I had probably seen it at least 25 times, thanks in no small part to having a little sister who is ten years younger than me.  I still remember almost all the words to the songs!

OH!  And Uncle Dan, if you're reading this, you're on notice: I've talked up your Les Poissons performance to the kids, so you better get practicing!

Last night we had some friends over for dinner and Dave BBQ'd shish-ka-bobs - steak, shrimp, zuchinni, cauliflower (yum!). 

We tried to do mushrooms too, but found that they would just split in half when you stabbed them.   I ended up stuffing them on the fly with sausage and cheese and baking them as appetizers, but is there some secret we should know about BBQ'ing mushrooms?  It seems like it should be easy.

We ended up getting good weather and the kids (well, the little kids at least!) had a great time playing (the big girls are starting to get bored hanging out with a bunch of preschoolers!).  And we handed the camera over to Tana's husband and he got this great shot of the three of us.

Today I need to start doing laundry and seriously thinking about packing for our trip.

Happy poochies don't poop

On Tuesday it hit me that perhaps dogs aren't unlike children in most ways and that maybe Harry's problem was the same thing that usually gets Alex in trouble: I'm not paying enough attention to him.  So instead of shutting him in the garage and playing the mean bad asses routine, I decided to just play with him and see what happened.  Alex has t-ball "camp" this week for an hour every day at the park and I've been bringing the dog along where children fawn all over him and he gets to play fetch until he drops.

It's totally working.

By the end of the day, he's too tired to crap on the floor.  Can I get an amen?

I've been trying lately to get a picture of BOTH of my children in the same photo at the SAME TIME.  It's a lot harder than you'd think, but this was my best shot of them at the park yesterday.

This is completely unrelated to anything, but here's a partial List of Things to Which I'm Totally Addicted:

• SYTYCD (So You Think You Can Dance?) (Suck it, Dave)
• Weeds (I just watched the last two seasons on DVD, basically in one sitting)
• Finishing the Lonesome Dove series so I can watch it on DVD when they re-release it in August
• Tigi hair goop, the most expensive I've ever bought, but worth it
• Mother's Oatmeal cookies
• Wyder's Pear Cider (I have one every day at 5PM, like clockwork)
• Sleeping in until 8AM every day

Man-pleasing Breakfast Casserole

When we had eleven million people staying here for the 4th of July, I decided it would be a good idea to make casseroles for breakfast instead of catering to the individual morning whims of 15 different people.  So I made this casserole.

In spite of all the work I did on every. single. other. dish I lovingly prepared (lasagna! potato salad! cheesecake in the shape of an American flag! brownies!), this simple, easy casserole was the biggest hit of the holiday.  EVERYONE loved it.  And it's easy to see why once you have a gander at the ingredients:

You'll need:
One 2-pound bag of hash brown potatoes (the square ones, not the strips) (THAWED)
1 lb of breakfast sausage
1-2 onions
2 cups of cheese
1 dozen eggs
1/2 a stick of butter
Salt
Pepper

It's basically one big delicious MAN PIE.  Meat? check.  Potatoes? check.  Cheese?  check.  Hoity toity ingredient?  NONE.  Green vegetables?  NOT A ONE.  If there is a special man in your life and feeding him this recipe doesn't get you laid, I'll offer you a money back guarantee.  (You know, a refund of all the cash you send me when I post recipes!)

This is basically everything you want for breakfast all in one dish.  There are also about a million potential variations once you get the basic recipe down, so see the end of this post for some ideas.

First up, cut up half a stick of butter and throw it into your largest nonstick skillet.  Sadly this IS my largest skillet.

Trust me on the non-stick thing.  When I first made this recipe, I doubled it and put half in this skillet and half in a regular aluminum skillet and instead of browning, the potatoes formed this sticky paste on the bottom of the pan.  NOT GOOD. 

Next chop up an onion or two, depending on how big your onions are and how much you like onions.

I like onions A LOT.  And the biggest lies I ROUTINELY tell my children have to do with onions and whether or not they are present in our dinners.

This is about an onion and a half.  Walla walla sweet! 

Next get out your DEFROSTED bag of hash browns.  The original recipe actually called for six potatoes, peeled, boiled and cubed, but that takes forever.  And a bag of pre-chopped potatoes works just as well.

Dump it in your (non-stick!) skillet and begin to cook the mixture over high heat.

I don't even bother stirring it until at least five minutes has passed.

The goal is to cook the onions and brown the potatoes.  It takes anywhere from 10-15 minutes. [See how tiny my skillet is?!  I'm totally looking for some bigger ones.]

In the meantime, get out your sausage.

Can we stop for a moment so I can gush about how awesome it is that I found this sausage?!?  AT WAL-MART!  It's the delicious taste of Jimmy Dean!  But without all the evil cancer-causing chemicals!  Suh-wheet!  And they aren't lying either:

Okay, end commercial.  It's just SO SO hard to find tasty pork products that meet my strict "all natural" requirements of foods I purchase for my kids.

So start cooking that sausage while you very occasionally stir your potatoes.

Salt and pepper them to taste.

Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees and then generously butter a 9 x 13 baking pan (or spray with cooking spray).

And then start to layer your casserole, potatoes first.

Then sausage.

Next grate two cups (or more!) of cheese and dump it on top of the sausage.

Then get out a dozen eggs.  I know!  It seems like a lot.  And it is!  When I first doubled this recipe it was TWO dozen eggs and that seemed excessive, but it wasn't.

Beat those puppies up.

And pour them over your casserole. 

It won't fill up your pan like a quiche, but don't worry.  This is about as deep as it needs to get.

Throw it in the oven at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes.  It'll look like this when it's done:

It will also make all your eaters very happy!

MAN-PLEASING BREAKFAST CASSEROLE
One 2-pound bag of THAWED hash brown potatoes (the cubes, not the strips)
1 lb of breakfast sausage
1-2 onions
2 cups of cheese
1 dozen eggs
1/2 a stick of butter
Salt
Pepper

Combine chopped onions, potatoes and half a stick of butter in a large nonstick skillet and cook until brown, turning as infrequently as possible so as to avoid smushing the potatoes.

Grease a 9 x 13 baking dish and preheat your oven to 350 degrees. EDITED TO ADD:  I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend using one of those disposable aluminum pans from the dollar store.  I used those the first few times I cooked this recipe and didn't have to bother with clean up.  The last time I made it?  Was five days ago and my best NON-STICK pan is still soaking.  I can't get it clean. 

Brown one pound of breakfast sausage.  Grate two cups of cheese.  Beat one dozen eggs.

Layer your casserole as follows: potatoes, sausage, cheese then eggs.

Bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes until set.

Can be prepared the night before and refrigerated until morning.  I would just wait to add the eggs until the following day and then maybe extend your baking time to adjust for the cold ingredients.

POSSIBLY YUMMIER VARIATIONS (not guaranteed to get you laid, though.  Sorry)
Apple chicken sausage with rosemary and white cheddar.
Spicy mexican sausage with pepper jack cheese (and maybe even black beans), served with warm tortillas, sour cream and salsa.
Italian sausage with mozarella, mushrooms, green peppers and sundried tomatoes.
Bacon(!) with cheddar.
Turkey sausage with fontina cheese and fresh spinach.
Italian sausage, fresh basil, pine nuts and parmesan cheese.

The options are endless...  ENJOY!

All better!

I bought a Bissell Something-Or-Other (the one that actually heats the cleaning solution) and it seemed to do the trick.  I foresee it getting MUCH use.

Also!  My garden!  It's, uh... GROWING STUFF!

I'm not sure when the novelty of growing your own food wears off.  Definitely not before you actually get to EAT it.  The only thing we've harvested thus far was lettuce and it was DELICIOSO!

Turd Sandwich

I had a hard time sleeping last night.  I often forget that a cocktail before bed SOUNDS like a solid plan, like it will help me fall asleep, but then there I am at 3AM EYES WIDE OPEN.  After laying in bed trying to fight it for an hour (while Genoa stuck her feet down the back of my pants), I finally shuffled downstairs for a glass of water.  And then the smell hit me:

DOG SHIT.  EVERYWHERE.

Harry continues to give us grief.  I spent twenty minutes cleaning the floor where he crapped and then apparently STEPPED IN IT and tracked it all over the downstairs.  It wasn't until I woke up this morning that I saw the stairs themselves.

White carpet!  Who are the geniuses who thought that one up?

Anyway, I'm off to finally throw down the cash for a spot steamer.  I'm SO sick of this crap.  LITERALLY.

Missed photo op

Yesterday I did my best to photograph our friend Kendall's fourth birthday party. 

I had a ton of fun and even though I was trying to be diplomatic about my photography, a good half of the photo set still ended up being pictures of my kids.

A professional photographer I am not!  I missed a slew of important shots, not the least of which was when the birthday girl blew out the candles, but only one missed shot is still giving me grief.

Our mutual friends, The Chicas, were there.  I absolutely unabashedly ADORE The Chicas.  They are two women from Mexico, both of which have kids who attended school with Kendall and Alex for most of the year.  Tonya and I mutually fell in love with these two women immediately.  They have some of the most rich and interesting life stories about their how much moving to America has changed them.  (They basically both went from having Help with a capital H, to being completely on their own.  One of them had never cooked a meal before moving to the US!)

Since her parents are here visiting from Mexico, Alejandra brought them to the party with her own children and two of the kids' cousins.  Not only did they blend right in and speak excellent English and remind me ever-so-much of my beloved Argentinian host family, but I witnessed a moment so simple and beautiful that it's something I'll always carry with me. 

Alejandra is my age(ish?) and since she and I are close in age, I'm comfortable assuming that her father is in his sixties, like mine is.  I found Alejandra's father, Alejandro, to be one of the warmest men I've ever met.  He is a stout man with a cane, an engaging smile and a kindness that oozes from every pore.  I wish I'd gone out of my way to spend more time talking with him. 

While all the kids were circling the pinata waiting for their turns at bat, Alejandra sat down next to her father in one of the green canvas folding chairs she had brought.  Her chairs had those cool armrests with room for a coke can, but instead of holding sodas, I caught Alejandra holding hands...

with her dad.

It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

A grown woman holding hands with her father.  In public.  At a party.  For no reason other than that she loves him and he OBVIOUSLY adores her.  I've rarely seen that kind of affection between adult parent and child and I come from a rather exceptionally affectionate family myself.  The whole thing honestly just stopped my heart and my first instinct was to grab for my camera.  Sadly, by the time I was ready, it was Alejandra's son's turn at the pinata and the moment was gone.

I'm so sorry I missed it.

The Fool-Proof Friend-Making Strategy

I should probably back up for a minute and admit that I used to ROYALLY SUCK at making friends.  I have literally ZERO friends from college and only a handful of friends from high school.  In my twenties, before having Alex at 27, I made NO friends.  As in none.  NADA.  Not a one. 

And it was totally my fault. 

Sure, it was harder back then because I didn't have kids to help me break the ice, but I had Harry!  And (potentially) hobbies!  And a job!  But the truth is that I was miserably unhappy for most of my twenties and I wasn't in a very good place.  I couldn't BE the friend I needed others to be for me, so my friendships were always short-lived and completely unfulfilling. 

So that's where I'll start my Fool-Proof Friend-Making Strategy:

1.  BE THE FRIEND YOU WANT TO HAVE. 
I love SchnozzFest's line from that post (if you haven't read THAT POST, go read it now.  It's long.  I'll wait.) in which she says:

"Life is only like high school if you act like you are in high school."

NO KIDDING.  I never do ANY OF THAT CRAP.  If someone doesn't call me back, I assume THEY ARE BUSY.  I don't take it personally.  It doesn't hurt my itty bitty feelings and I don't let my brain start festering the idea that so and so must hate me or I must have pissed her off somehow.  Because I didn't.  I wouldn't.

Basically, if you want to have friends, you have to GET OVER YOURSELF and realize that being rejected, while incredibly rare, is NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.  In fact, it's not even about you.  It's about THEM.  (The same thing goes for blog troll comments.)  Be confident in the fact that you are a good person, natch, YOU ARE FABULOUS.  Anyone would be LUCKY to have you as a friend! 

If you start to go down that path wherein you PRE-REJECT a potential friend because she might reject you?  STOP YOURSELF.  You're not in High School anymore.  What Schnozz is saying is that if you have a hard time making friends, it's because you're probably making it too hard for others to be friends with you.

This point also refers back to my ONE CRITERIA for potential friends:  Take me as I am.  See?  It goes both ways!  I take my friends for face value.  And why wouldn't I?  They're FABULOUS people.

2.  START THE CONVERSATION.
So now that you've worked out your end of the deal and you're, you know, an ADULT and all, say you're at the mall and you spot some cute mom with an adorable purse and chipped toenail polish and you have to figure out how to approach her.  Here's what works for me every. single. time:

"How old is your son (or daughter)?"

The best thing about this question is that even if they give you a one-word answer, you have some room to start a conversation.  You might say, "Four?  Really, I would've thought he was older than that! "  or "God, TWO?  Do you want a swig from this flask I keep in my purse!"  From there I often start a discussion about age differences between kids and/or how many kids you want to have.  I often throw in a story about how hard it was to be pregnant while chasing a two-year-old, a story that includes the prolific mentioning of hemorrhoids.  A little grossness always helps break the ice!  It is rare that I ever experience a conversation lull with a fellow parent because there's so much fodder there, but if it gets quiet, I just ask where she gave birth and whether or not she'd recommend her Gynecologist to me.

If you DON'T have kids, you just need to make sure you ask QUALITATIVE questions.

"How do like living here?"

"What's your major?"

"Is that a tattoo of a monkey throwing poo?"

Start ANYWHERE, the point is to keep the conversation going and see if you have any chemistry with this person.

If you aren't finding potential people to approach in the first place, then you probably just need to get out more.  And I don't mean at the coffee shop or the book store or the bar, where you aren't likely to have enough in common with a random stranger!  Take an interest-specific class, join a club, offer to write the newsletter for your neighborhood HOA.  There's a million places to make friends if you have interesting enough interests.

3. CARRY A PEN AND PAPER WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES. 

I can always tell within a few minutes of first meeting someone if they are a member of Club Awesome or not.  Usually, it's either that they will laugh at my stupid jokes or say something that makes me laugh.  If I feel like I'm clicking with someone new, I whip out my pen and paper, write down my name, phone number and my e-mail address and hand it over to the person, usually saying something like, "It might fun to meet up at the park for a play date."

As for mommy calling cards, I'm lukewarm on them.  A lovely reader (whose contact info and blog address I quickly lost!) actually made me some with my name, web address and phone number on them.  They were super cute and said, "Mom of Alex & Genoa," and I really like them, but I rarely use them mostly because I feel like they come across as an advertisement for my blog, which is potentially off-putting particularly to someone who doesn't blog or know what blogs are about. 

By pulling out the pad of paper, nine times out of ten the person I'm offering my contact info to will take the pen and give me HER contact info, which is what I really want.  If I hand someone a card, chances are that no matter how awesome they are or how much we clicked, they won't have the cojones to contact me.

AND THAT'S OKAY.

The other thing I always do is to write my blog address down under my contact info.  Not only is my blog a HUGE part of my existence, but I figure if someone can stomach what I write here, they're totally and completely friend-worthy.

4.  SEND AN E-MAIL.

This is why I'm so interested in getting the contact info from potential friends: I like to use e-mail.  It's my favorite form of not-in-person communication.  After meeting someone new, I usually send them an e-mail saying how fun it was to meet them, in which I reference something we talked about  and then casually suggest another IN PUBLIC meeting.

If all I've got is a phone number, I put on my big girl panties and USE IT.  I call them up and say hi.  I always like to call with a purpose, rather than just to chat (I'm not much of a phone person), so my calls will most likely be along the lines of  "Hi this is Amanda, Alex and Genoa's mom.  We met at the park remember?  Are you interested in going to the zoo next week?"

I like e-mail better because it doesn't put people on the spot and it gives them time to put their best foot forward with a response.  Also there is nothing more impossible than having a phone conversation when you have two children under the age of five.  NOTHING.

5.  ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS
When I meet up with someone for the second time, I ask as many questions as I possibly can.  Talking a lot comes naturally to me (Ha!), but when I want to get to know someone, I try to shut my pie-hole at least half the time and asking them their life story question by question is the easiest way to accomplish that. 

Have you always lived here? 
How did you pick that neighborhood? 
Do you have family nearby? 
How long have you been married? 
Where did you go to school?
What does your husband do for a living?
Do you plan to go back to work some day?
What church do you go to?  (And how did you pick it?)

I could go on and on, but it's easy.  What I'm looking for is common ground (and admittedly, LACK OF DRAMA).  The more questions you ask, the sooner you'll know if this is a match made in heaven or hell.

6.  BECOME THE INVITER
The death knell to every potential friendship of my twenties was that I would call or e-mail a friend and then I'd never hear back.  Or I'd invite someone some place and assume it was their turn to invite me next. 

THAT WAS TOTALLY STUPID.

Now I invite people to do things or go places or come over and eat food and then I INVITE THEM AGAIN.  You'll never catch me wasting a second of my life waiting for the phone to ring.  If I want to see my friends, I make it happen.  And here's the important part: I'm pretty sure this makes it EASIER to be my friend.  If you don't return my phone call, I'm going to CALL YOU AGAIN.  And I'm probably going to keep calling you until you change your number.

Admittedly, part of this issue is that I'm an Obsessive-Compulsive Inviter.  I come by my love of entertaining genetically (see exhibit A: My Mother).  Basically what it boils down to is a fundamental need to fill peoples' bellies.  I like to host parties, feed people and give them booze.  I honestly ENJOY that stuff and feel like it's my true vocation in life.  But if you don't feel that way?  DON'T FEAR!  There are plenty of things you can do to see your friends that don't involve cleaning your kitchen floor or mincing garlic.  Take some beer to the park or find a cheap pizza place that your friends all love.  But INVITE THEM.  It makes all the difference.

And that's my Friend Making Manifesto.  I can't emphasize enough how much the new friends I've made here in Vancouver have enriched my life. 

So how did you meet your best friend?  Am I leaving anything out?  Feel free to share.

On making friends

I first saw Tana when she was nursing her baby, Austen, at the play area at the local mall.  Our big boys each picked up a shoe and started chasing each other around pretending they were light sabers.  It was a match made in heaven.  I started talking to her, we exchanged numbers and we've been close friends ever since.

When we were still renting our apartment, Kate (and Scott) moved in right across from us all the way from Michigan.  Our front doors faced eachother and her two girls liked to play under the stairs and on the sidewalk, which was two feet from our patio.  My kids begged to play with her kids and after a week or two, I moved our patio chairs to the front hallway so we could sit together after dinner and watch our kids play.  We ended up finding houses less then five minutes from each other and our friendship has continued to flourish in spite of the big age difference between our kids. 

Tonya's daughter Kendall was in Alex's Montessori class.  We saw each other almost every day at pick up time and eventually we struck up a conversation (which I'm pretty sure was about extended breast-feeding).  From that day on I always looked forward to seeing Tonya at school, even though it took us well over a month to learn each others' names.  I'm pretty sure she invited me over first too!  We had coffee while the kids were at school and one play date led to another and eventually it became clear that Genoa and Kendall were destined to be BFF.  Ditto for me and Tonya.

I'm pretty sure that Callie was the first friend I made in Vancouver.  I was at Cafe Sip & Play with Genoa and Alex and she was there with her daughter Anna while her son Liam was at preschool.  We got to talking and I learned that she was actually from San Mateo, a short ten minutes from our old place in Mountain View.  She immediately gave me her phone number and now we still hang out as much as we can, including a weekly park play date.

Annagrace and I were mutually introduced by Jen Zug, a reader of each of our respective blogs who figured out that I was moving right to where Annagrace already lived.  I immediately fell in love with the love of life that came through in Annagrace's writing and in person and our daughters are literally less than a month apart in age.  I'm looking forward to pouring her a cocktail some time in the next two weeks after she gives birth to her next daughter!

I wish I could say that ALL my attempts at friendship have been so easy, but the truth is that I've met people with whom I ended up not clicking and I've also met people I really liked who never returned my affection.  I should say that I've spent no small amount of time developing a mental idea of what I'm looking for in a friend.  I basically have ONE requirement:

Take me as I am.  I'm totally completely and utterly OVER walking on egg shells around friends.  I want to be with people around whom I can say whatever I want without fear of being judged or that I might unintentionally hurt someone's tender feelings.  I want to surround myself with people around whom even if I say something AWFUL (usually while intoxicated), they will take me for my GOODNESS and realize that everyone sometimes says stupid crap they don't mean.  I want friends who give the benefit of the doubt every. single. time.  If I accidentally hurt someone's feelings, I want that person's first reaction to be that they're sure I didn't mean it.  Because why would I be trying to hurt the people I care about?

This philosophy really encompasses more than you'd think.  I have friends who are Christians and friends who are atheists, friends who are Republicans and friends who are Democrats.  Moms who breastfed for two months and moms who breastfed for two years.  And you know what?  None of that matters!  As long as the conversation is easy and everyone plays nice, there is really no reason to ever exclude someone because of some philosophy upon which you disagree.  That my friends are GOOD people is all that really matters to me.

Of course, I'm making this seem MUCH more simple that it actually is.  I know plenty of moms who meet people at the mall all the time, but still don't have many good close friends.  So tomorrow I'm going to share my Fool-Proof Friend-Making Strategy.  In the meantime, go read THIS POST by one of my favoritest bloggers, SchnozzFest, in which she explains all the stupid reasons people think other people won't like them.  I'll give my two cents on that issue tomorrow!