'Twas the night after Blogher and all through the house
Not one dish was clean, not even a glass -
New plastic trucks strewn about willy nilly
My dirty-faced boy a half-naked hillbilly.
He jumped up and down shrieking "Mommy is Home!"
His Dad so glad to see me, it gave him the bone.
And soon with my boob out, the boy in my lap,
We all settled in for the saucy re-cap.
At the airport on Friday, I met Jen at last
And, for a change, my lad wasn't bare-assed.
While the boy napped, we lunched and we yakked
Mostly about the gastrointestinal tract.
And then to the hotel, whose beds are much famed,
But rest here, you turncoat, AND YOU WILL BE SHAMED
Later I dined with much anxious fear
And sat next to Heather, the poop pioneer.
With cameras lined up, we ate and we sat
Downing beer after beer, we laughed at that hat.
Surrounded by writers, such talent, such fame,
I couldn't stop grinning as I called them by name;
Now HEATHER! now EDEN! now JENB! And ALICE!
Who was that spaz stalking MELISSA? Such malice!
Oh JENN! oh TRACY! oh MEGHAN! oh JENNY!
And MINDY! and MAGGIE! I'm forgetting too many.
The conference was fine, although not up my alley
Most of the talk was too "Silicon Valley"
To do lists and rankings and goals, blah blah blah -
I have more fun while discussing my bra.
I did love the mommy-bloggers (although many do not),
Turns out we are more than just poop, boobs and snot.
I blubbered when I spoke of my love for the title,
Because, like it or not, we mommies are vital.
But that got Melissa going, crying and crying,
I swear to god you'd have thought she was dying.
But then Alice spoke out - pissed off (but with tact)
And said "Writing about motherhood can be a radical act!"
Here here! We all hollered as we wiped away tears.
That is the phrase I'll keep with me for years.
After more hanky panky, I called it a night.
HAPPY BLOGGING TO ALL, IT WAS SUCH A DELIGHT!
