"Bih Boyie Bed"

Have I mentioned that Alex stopped sleeping in his crib a few weeks ago?  If not it's only because I haven't been able to write about it without all the angry expletives.  Basically instead of listening to him scream for an hour in his crib, I'm now LAYING WITH HIM for an hour in his bed.  I'm not allowed to MOVE AN INCH until he falls all the way asleep, at which point I can tip toe quietly back downstairs to my life.  Bye bye evenings!

And as if THAT isn't bad enough, I'm getting about as much sleep as the mother of a newborn.  Last night he woke up every TWO HOURS - at 10, 12, 2, 4 and 6 - at which point he refused to fall back to sleep.  Of course every time he wakes up, he walks over to our room, stands next to my head and gurgles "MOMMY!" followed immediately by "BOOB!".  So I have to rinse and repeat the hour of laying completely still next to him while he falls asleep.

Anyone with wisdom on this subject out there?  I feel like I'm training him to wake up since every time he does, he gets rewarded by having me lay down with him again and nurse him back to sleep.  And he is nursing WAY TOO MUCH.  Seriously.  I think someone is putting crack in my breastmilk.  It just can't be THAT GOOD.  He asks to nurse at least 10 times a day and then over and over again all night long.   I wanted extended nursing to be a pleasant experience, not one that makes me feel like a drug dealer.  "Just give me one more sip, I swear, it's the last time I'll ask!  I'll eat all my vegetables and put all my toys away if you just GIVE ME MORE BOOB!"  It's getting pathetic.  And sad.  And I have NO IDEA what to do. 

I can imagine a time in the future when my baby is no longer nursing and he doesn't ask me for it eleventy billion times a day.  And I'm not sure if I'll be happy or sad about it. 

Comments

[Lissy]

We lived the exact same experience minus the boob issues. Max moved to his big boy bed right before his second birthday and we had to lay with him every night for almost 4 months. We would have to go back in if he woke as well and do it all again. Then we moved to the glider in his room. We told him we would stay there while he was in his bed. That worked well for a while but eventually it was taking longer and longer to put him to bed because he was trying to get us involved in the playing he was doing (instead of sleeping) which just kept him awake longer. So after watching Super Nanny on Mother's day we decided after our trip to Vegas we were starting the Nanny rules of sleeping.

One night out of the blue I just decided it was the night, and I put him to bed (followed usual routine, 3 stories, 3 drinks=me counting to 3 while he drinks, and big hugs and kisses and off to bed) and told him big boys stay in their beds and go night night, I would be back in a few minutes to check on him but I wanted him to stay in his bed like a good boy.

And then I left. He slept all night, no peeps.

Since then there have been nights with no attempts to get out of bed, and other nights with 13 out of bed episodes. The first time out he gets more hugs and another nite nite and reassurence that I'll be back in. The 2nd through 13 he gets picked up put back in his bed, with no conversation, no hugs, no eye contact, nothin'. Just back to bed. Every time the exact same, no matter how frustrated I am, and it has worked. He puts himself to sleep now, and almost never gets out of bed more than once.

The only thing is he's older than Doodlepants, Max is 30 months, so you may have to wait a little while for it to work. I don't think Max would have done it much earlier.

Oh we also used a gate on his bedroom door. Keeping him in his room kept him from fully waking on the walk to our room and that made it easier to get him back to sleep each time he did the every 2 hour waking thing.

All of our Big Boy Bed adventures are on my blog if you ever need to feel like someone has been there.

I hope he gets the hang of it soon.

[Sally]

My little guy is 18 months old now, and we've also been doing extended nursing. We're having the same boob issues you are having! I had gotten so used to nursing him at reasonable (to me) times. Now he wants to nurse for long periods frequently throughout the day. It's just exhausting...but I imagine weaning-induced meltdowns would be even more exhausting. Anyway, I really sympathize with you and I'll be interested to read how you decide to deal with this. I have jury duty in 3 weeks and if I can't get out of it then Tommy might be daytime weaned by the end of it whether I want it or not! I hope your nights get better really soon. It must be so hard to deal with both the increased nursing demands during the day AND the night wakings.

[Amy]

First, to Sally, if you live in CA, you can get out of jury duty by filling out the form that says you are a breastfeeding mother. It gets you out of it for one year. I did that when my daughter was 18 months and still nursing.

Second, as for the sleeping thing, if you want him to sleep through the night, you probably have to nightwean him. This is a long and difficult process. When my son was almost 2, I nightweaned him because he was waking up every 2 hours (since birth). Once he was nightweaned, he slept through the night. At some point a couple months later, we moved him from our bed to a regular bed (in a bedroom with his sister) and I would always lie down with him to get him to sleep. If he woke up, I let him come into bed with us. After a couple weeks of that, my husband started going in and telling him "It's time to go back to sleep. I love you" and leaving him in his bed. He'd fall back to sleep when he realized he wasn't going to get me, but his dad instead.

I stopped lying down with him to get him to sleep after a couple more months (how many months did this go on! He's only 2.75 now) and started sitting in a chair near his bed and staying in the chair until he falls asleep. The lying down was killing me - I'd always fall asleep with him.

Now, all this being said, my first child, who is now 5, would never have stood for this routine. She slept with us until she was FIVE and now only sleeps in her own bed because she has her brother in her room with her. She would never have just gone back to sleep because my husband told her to. So every kid is different.

All I can say is GOOD LUCK. I've so been there. Nightweaning is the key. Take your time, do it slowly, read the No Cry Sleep Solution. You can still nurse during the day.