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February 04, 2008


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Amanda, I'm sure you've heard this before (and I know you'll hear it again) but I don't think I've ever seen the baggage of being fat expressed as perfectly as you have done here.

AMAZING series of posts. Can't wait for the next one!

cindy w

Thank you for pointing out the emotional roller coaster issues. Man, that was rough. It doesn't help that estrogen is stored in fat cells, so it was sort of like always being in Hyper-PMS Mode when your body is burning fat so fast. I remember crying in a department store dressing room because none of my bras fit me and I didn't know what size I was anymore. The distress I felt was a teensy bit irrational for the situation, but I can still recall exactly how upsetting it was at the time.

Did your hair fall out post-op? Mine did, but it also fell out post-pregnancy, and pretty much any time my body has undergone a severe amount of stress, so I don't know if that's normal or not.

That's awesome that you started working out so soon after your surgery. I didn't start working out until several months post-op, I was just too tired and yucky feeling before that.


THIS is the post I've been waiting for. I got teary-eyed reading it. I know that so many issues I've tried to bury under mounds of fat are going to come to the surface once I've had the surgery. I'm looking forward to getting it over with and moving past it, but I'm terrified at the same time.

Thank you so much for sharing the most important part of your journey with us.


Here's what I struggle with...what does the surgery do that enables people to do it? If I could force myself to exercise 1 hour a day, five days a week, and force myself to even eat 1500-1800 calories a day, I would lose the weight. What is it about the surgery that makes you do it?


I am finding this all so interesting. You really didn't have an appetite for 6 months to a year later?
What helped you deal with all your "issues"...did you have someone to talk you through these things?? Support group..people from the hospital. I have heard that after some people have the surgery they never truly deal with the "issues" and then pick up another addition. Just curious what all of that looks like!


see, i am 6 weeks post op and hungry. legitimately hungry. as someone who used to restrict food for hours or even days at a time, i know what hungry feels like. this is what freaks me out the most.

for me, i have both a therapist AND a psychiatrist helping me out. MEDS and talking. I am so afraid it won't work for me.


Wow... reading your story is just like reading the story of MY LIFE. My similar situation is almost uncanny compared to yours. I am also doing this surgery to finally feel healthy and finally be able to have the baby that I've always wanted (after 7 miscarriages). You are giving me so much hope!! I am very scared, VERY scared but I know I need to do this in order to being living my life. Thank You!!!


I have been through the doctor supervised 6 month diet and exercise program and all the other requirements leading up to the surgery. I meet with the baratric surgeon on April 14. Hopefully, I will have my surgery within one month to 3 months after that. I can't wait! The past few weeks time is starting to slow down. Is there anyone out there that can recommend a good protein drink? The ones I have sampled so far gags me. [email protected]


I am 3 weeks post op and I like the carnation instant breakfast sugar free chocolate. You add 1 scoop of Whey to it. It tastes like a chocolate shake and has 38 g protein with the whey added.

Xochitl Vargas

HI from Los Angeles, CA. I am 9 weeks out and have lost 42 lbs, and feel it coming off every week. I am experiencing major PMS problems, and have been googling if this is just me, but found out it's the estrogen that is being released (WUUUPEE), but anyways, thanks for sharing. You said it like it is on our struggles. Also, for the person who asked about the protein, I am a coffee drinker and have found AchievOne cappuccino (20 grams of protein), and Worldwide Pure Protein Strawberry Cream (35 grams), both are yummy. Good luck to all on our journey.


thanks to everyone who has blogged here. I am two weeks post-op and i have discovered that i can still drink a whole can of cream soup! is that normal? i have already lost 28LBS. and i don't want to jepordize anything. What is going on what should i do? i am not eating much throughout the day, a few teasoopns here and there of yogurt and drinking my protein shakes. I only get hungry at night when i'm having my soup. Can anyone help me or is this okay?


I started to read your blog and I felt like you were writing my life word for word. I have never read anything that made me ball the way this did. The way you describe being overweight and trying so hard to lose the weight and you don't! I just had my RNY September 3, 2008 and I'm going through the same thing as you describe. This is got to be the hardest thing I have ever done...but guess what I'm losing weight right along with losing my mind but that’s OK. I've lost 13lbs in 11 days! Now the part where you got pregnant freaked me out because I've been trying for 3 year to get pregnant. I have PCOS from being overweight and I'm thinking I can't get pregnant because I can barely eat as it is. How did you do it! Thank you so much for this post!


Hi - I'm 2 weeks post-op and feel wonderful. I've lost a total of 26lbs and really love life. The problem is, I still miss food. I can blend an entire can of low fat soup and eat it without any problems. I do a protein shake in the moring have 2oz of cottage cheese w/sugar free applesauce for lunch then have soup at dinner. I just finished the can about 5min ago.. How is this possible ?? I'm so worried that the weight loss will stop. Please tell me what you think !!!

Laurie from York PA

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I'm so glad I came across this. I have been so optimistic and excited about my surgery (6 days ago) but today I am feeling discouraged as I don't think I'm really losing anything. I'm not hungry..I'm shoving fluids and protein shakes down like I'm supposed to...but I'm not seeing a huge difference like I thought I might. I'm recovering at a friend's house and her scale says I lost nothing from yesterday to today. Am I being ridiculous? Yes, seems to be the right answer. My friend lost 17 lbs her first week. I don't want to get to the doctor's office on Thursday to find that I've lost 2 lbs. and that that's "not typical".


Hi, I had my surgery on January 12, 2010 and have lost a total of 19 pounds since then, but what really freaks me out is the foods make me so sick! I can't eat anything without it hurting and diarrhea coming on. I am very hungry and hate the soups and jellos. Help what can I eat? Also I am so tired that I can hardly walk or exercise. It is a struggle to be at work for just 4 hours and I don't have a rough job? I am crying for what I gave up to be so tired and now at 60 everyone says I look saggy.


I went to the emergency on Monday as I still couldn't get water or broth down. I had a restricted throat or whatever it is called. They did surgery to open the pipe and I am now at home and able to eat broth and drink water. My doctors said I was starving as nothing could get down. This is why I was so sick all the time. I'm back on liquids and broth so here I go again. Hoping to maybe start with cottage cheese soon. Sick of this surgery.


How are you doing now? To everyone, thank you for your posts! I enjoyed reading everyone. With not much support I surf through the internet looking and hoping to find women in similar situations. Thank you all for sharing and best wishes for a healthier life!

coach purses

It is a matter of course that industry will bring us success, wealth and good luck. I am sure that a hard-working person can always succeed in the work which he wants to do. This is unchangeable truth.


Lori, thank you so much for asking. I am doing a whole world better. I was a size 20 and now am an 11 or 12. I feel so great after all those years of dieting and no weight loss. I am at 155 which I can't remember at least 25 years ago when I weighed this. I still eat foods that I shouldn't and they get me sort of sick but notlike before. The only thing is that my legs and arms are saggy but I can cover them up in skinny jeans and a sexy blouse. I am on cloud nine. I eat almost every 2 hours as I am hungry but not much. Everyone hang in there because there is a silver lining. Love Yolanda


I am getting ready to have my surgery in a week and to tell you the truth reading this has helped me alot. I'm very anxious and can't wait to see my self skinny. Ever since I started having my babies my weigh just started increasing like crazy. I've done all different types of diets and yes I've lost some but gain right back and that is why I have come to the conclusion that the only thing that will actuall help is getting surgery. I'll be back after my surgery and let you guys know how I'm doing and progressing.


I was hungry 11 days after surgery. Real hunger not head hunger. I would be in the middle of my work day and my stomach would be growling, I would be shaky, having the "I need to eat now" feeling. I repeat NOT HEAD HUNGER. So everyone is different, lucky for you, you were not hungry.


This was exactly how I was feeling today. I am six days post op and struggling with all of this. Thank you for putting my feelings into words.


Your blog was very interesting. When you said that you were miserable when you were not eating but eating made you miserable.....that is me! I have been debating weight loss surgery but am scared. I need to lose between 80-100 I feel with out surgery I will continue to yo-yo diet. I am going on 31, how long am I willing to be unhappy! Is this really a good solution? Will I never eat the foods I have enjoyed? Just want to feel healthy, pretty and beat this "food"addiction.

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